How do you know your in love??

Well here is my opinion. Your in love if another person is all you can think about. When they are all that you want or need. When you wake up and they are the first person you think about or when you go to bed they are the last person you think about. When you would do anything in the world that you could possibly do just to be with them. When you are in love you would rather give your life then see that other person suffer. You want to take their pain away. You can see yourself growing old with that person. You know your in love when there flaws is just more things that you love about them. When you think they are perfect even though no one is perfect. When you are in love the very thought of losing that person tears you apart. This is just my opinion but i think it is a great answer to that question.

My Love

It has come to my attention that i have not recently posted anything on my blog. This is because i am the happiest i have been in a long time. I am in love and i am enjoying it. I have a wonderful boyfriend he is wonderful. I do have to say there for a while i had given up on everything. I was taking the easy way out in life trust me never try that it's pretty much just you sitting and thinking of all the things that have gone wrong in your life and blaming them on yourself.Not very fun at all. Now that i am finally happy i will tell you all that being down on yourself and resenting yourself for any wrong decisions you have made in your life all your doing is making yourself incapable on being loved. You must love yourself before you can love anyone else. I know that it sounds like something a shrink would say but it is true. Alright now i am done with all the shrink stuff. Now i would like to talk about how much i love my boyfriend.. Have to brag a little lol. Anyways he is wonderful absolutely amazing.He respects me. He is honestly one of the best people i have met in my life. Have you ever been so in love that it hurts your heart every time your not together. Have you ever been so in love all you wanted to do is sit and talk and hold them for hours. I am right now!!!!
I have heard a lot of people say oh i will never find that one. Honestly i believe in fate if it wasn't for fate i would have never met my boyfriend.I just want to say thank you baby for everything. I Love you so very much.

Random

Self Confidence this is something that everyone should have but lets be honest we all do not. This is because of all the horrible things that tear people down and just ruin lives. Take me for example I have very low self esteem. There are days where i do not even look at myself in the mirror. I know that sounds bad but i am working on it. I have been trying for so long to figure out what i did wrong to make people treat me so badly. Well let me tell you something I have recently had someone come into my life. This person is perfection in my eyes. I know no body is perfect blah blah. You can say that but to be honest at one point in your life or another you have found someone that you can't describe them any other way then perfect!! I know that i am always talking about  how i am feeling but hey its my blog.

I really would like to say a few things so i am just going to say them. I think that people need to be more passionate and loving towards one another. There is no reason why they should judge one another or look down upon anyone. Guess what we all bleed the same. I know some people are less fortunate then others but so what. Who cares. That's  like people look down on other people that are poor. Seriously  I have lived both lives and to be honest i would rather not have money at all. A lot of people just can't live with out money. Well I say give me a card board box and someone that loves me and i love back and i would be completely happy. I do not see the point of loving money so much. Yes it is  necessity you do need money for food and a roof over your head but why does it have to be the biggest house or the most expensive food. I would like to know. I mean when if comes down to it i am  a person who likes to save. Not because i am poor and not because i like money no. I like to save because it makes me feel good to be able to get what i need and have money left over.
Another thing that just gets me going every time is clothes. They are all the same to me i do not care if you get them from walmart or American eagle. I do not give a rats ass what you are wearing just as long as it covers you. Also modesty what ever happen to leaving a little to the imagination. Im sorry but i think your shorts should be longer then your crotch. That  and i am pretty sure they made shirts to cover your tits not let them hang out everywhere. Women wear stuff like that and then complain that men are gawking at them well duh that is what is going to happen. Another thing if you are a heavy set person but clothes that fit. Because nobody and i do mean nobody wants to see your stuff just hanging over and out. It is just not flattering. I know this is pretty much a rant but what  ever i enjoy saying whats on my mind. Younger people these days I swear have you seen those shorts they sell at the store now days its like underwear pretty much and parents what message do you think that is sending to the children. Hmmm i wonder. People wonder how come we have all these teenagers now days getting pregnant at like 12 well gee PUT SOME CLOTHES ON!!!!
Also learn to spank your children i am not saying beat the crap out of them or anything i am just say spank them. If they cry abuse let them because kids now days do not even know what abuse is. When your child does something bad and you  award them for it what kind of person is that going to make them in the long run?? Those are the people who end up bullying others because they are not really truly happy about who they  are or what is going on in there lives. I'm just saying the more you spoil the child the more issues they are going to have. Well i guess i am done ranting. Thanks for reading
Quote of the Day: “It takes courage to grow up and turn out to be who you really are.”
–E.E. Cummings

Once again in my life i have been disappointed. I am not going to give up. I feel like it i wish i could lay in bed and cry all day long but i have a life i need to live. I am going to keep going and eventually i will stop crying myself to sleep and move on. Let me tell you i have loved a lot in my life and gotten hurt several times. With that known i have never stopped loving. Love is a crucial part of life. Everyone comes into your life for a reason. Let me tell you when you get your heart broken time and time again yes it does make you want to give up. Yes it does hurt but eventually we as people need to realize that sometimes people come into our lives and  we may fall in love with them sometimes things just don't work out. I have been handed a lot of pain in my life. Looking back on the times that i shared with those people that have hurt me i want to thank them because honestly they made me the person i am. They taught me things that i needed to learn. I have decided that i want to be friends with this man that hurt me because even just being his friend will make me happy. Now am i ready to admit that to him no because i am still very hurt. I will still keep working on myself and keep bettering myself. I am not going to give into the demons in my life. Honestly i wish i could say it doesn't hurt but i can't. I am not able to tell you how to deal with your relationships and heartaches because we all have to deal with them in our own way. I am here to tell you about my attitude and how i feel about myself because this is my blog and i can let everyone know what i feel.. So Here i go. I am a smart beautiful person inside and out. I love with all i have and hurt with all i have. When i put my heart into something its all the way in not half way. I think that more people should love this way. I know we all have our own demons. I was told once that part of having those demons is to have someone there to help you get them under control. It is true i may not have a boyfriend but i have my friends and family and they support me. I am thankful for everyone that does support me and push me to do things that are right in my life. I encourage you to find someone that believes in you and never let them go because you are always going to need that positive in your life. 

Life Getting you down??

     Live.
Live everyday to the fullest do not look back on things that you can not change. Alot of people that read this will probably think well thats easy for her  to say.  Actually it's probably one of the hardest things for me to say just for the fact is that i just recently decided to do this. I am going to live life to its fullest and if the people in my life do not like that or understand that. I would most likely tell them to deal with it its my life and i lost me a long time ago and its time for me to find me again. I encourage you to do the same thing if you lost who you are spend some time alone decide to find you again do something that makes you happy don't worry about others just you. Sometimes it is good just to take some time for you and if your loved ones don't support you in what you decide to do. Sit down and have a talk with them tell them that they are not the only ones that need you. You also need you.
      Laugh.
Laugh as much as you can. Make other people laugh. Laughing should be a part of everyones life and unfortanately its not. Smiling does not happen alot these days either. So please i encourage you to next time you see someone that looks like they could use a friend or just someone to say hello or even just a smile to lift their spirits up just smile and maybe stop say hello and share a laugh together. You never know who you could meet or who's life you can change if you never try. Laugh as often as you can because fun and laughter is a wonderful gift that we should have as much as we like.

    Learn.
Well i think this ones is self explanitory. We should try to learn something new each day. Learning should be one of the easy parts of life. I understand that it's not though. It takes time and understanding sometimes. It takes facing fear, being angry, shedding tears, admitting your at fault and wearing your heart on your sleeve sometimes. Which brings me to my last point.
      Love.
Love and let yourself be loved. I know its hard. I have had my fair share of pain and dissapointment in my life. Alot of people say they don't know how i wear my heart on my sleeve even going through what i have. Well its like this love needs to be shared with everyone. Even those who might have hurt you the most. Those people have things in their lives that might be worse then they can handle and need the love and understanding  from someone. I have loved and i have lost and i also have loved and gained. I have so much love to give because thats who i am . I always want to help and always want my loved ones that i love them and i am here when ever they need me. With out love i think that life wouldn't be the same. Love is what keeps alot of people going in hard times. Loving to me is living.
To some it all up take chances and love hard  and laugh more and try to learn as much as you can because you only get one life and you need to live it!!!

Invigorating!

      I have made a new goal for myself. I am overweight actually what the doctors call obese. I have decided to dance away these extra pounds that i don't need. I will say this dancing gives me that extra boost i need. I have manic depression and take medicine for it and it helps but dancing really gives me joy. Also singing and writing poetry. Anyways back to dancing i choose to dance to latin dance songs because i love the sexi salsa feeling. It really makes you feel sexy even when you do not feel sexy at all. I  have a wonderful man in my life. Ever since he met me he tells me that i am beautiful no matter what i have looked like. He puts up with my depression and other bad habits. One thing that has really been awesome is that we are not having a sexual relationship. We have connected on a emotional and intelectual level and its fantastic. I think that other people should try it. You learn things that you never knew before and you learn how to love and respect your partner on a way deeper level. Trust me i was in a marriage that was a disaster and i was not happy at all. I felt used for sex and to be his maid. That is not what a relationship is for. You do not have to have sex to prove you love someone. I tell you ladies if you are in a relationship and are not happy get the heck out. Honestly it does you not one bit of good. I know some of you are thinking well we have kids and i want to stick it out for the kids. Trust me your children will understand someday. That actually goes for men and women both. If you have no children and are afraid to leave because your spouse is abusing and threatening you fight back. Get out while you can and start again. I do not know everything but i do know about abuse and about parental divorce. I have been there heck my real dad was not even married to my mom and was a crack addict. I have been through alot. Some people may read this and think she is crazt but honestly i am talking to those who may need the advice. Not to people who think no ones problems can be bigger then theirs trust me some people have way bigger problems then others. They may not advertise it but they do. My  real point is take care of yourself and i know alot of people may have heard this from therapists, but you have to love yourself before you can love others. Also looks are only skin deep but beauty goes much much deeper then that!!!!
Ohh yea i wanted to start doing a quote of the day so here is todays quote.

Quote: There are two types of Pain in this world: Pain that hurts you, and Pain that changes you! - Unknown

Valentines Day

Well today is a day about love! Love is selfless and patient and kind. Sometimes it does not look that way but that is how its supposed to be right? If you love someone then maybe you should figure out how to show them that you love them more and more each day. As a person i want to be not only told but shown that i am loved. I am not saying buy me a bunch of crap all the time. Cause honestly you should not have to buy things all the time to prove your love. Yes there are certain things to spend money on like, Engagement ring, Wedding ring, anniversary gift, birthday,and some holidays like today and Christmas. Me personally i don't the big expensive gifts. The reason is because usually how often does that gift get used? Unless its a jewelry and even then i do not see the point in buying jewelry that cost thousands and thousands of dollars. I mean yea jewelry is nice but how much jewelry do you or your other half have that just sits in a jewelry box or a drawer. Today you should be brave tell the one you have your eye on that you like them. If you have been with someone for a long time and have not found the right words to say an i love you go's a long way. If you have been married and say i love you all the time come up with some sweet mushy new stuff to say. Girls love sweet and mushy!! Some guys love it too. They will not admit it but they do. I guess today's advice is. Just be open and honest and show them you love them don't just say it.